Cartilage Free Captain Predicts the 2022-23 Premier League

It’s onerous to consider, however the Premier League season begins TODAY when Arsenal visits Crystal Palace right now at 3 pm ET / 8 pm BST. It feels ludicrously early, as a result of it IS ludicrously early — the World Cup throws a significant spanner in the works, and we will get a month’s value of matches beneath everybody’s belts even earlier than the switch window closes.

All this instability has made this season significantly tough to foretell, however that did not cease us from asking ourselves — and our readers — what they assume will occur in the 2022-23 Premier League. Last week, we requested you to foretell the Premier League desk, and the Carty Free employees did the similar. We additionally requested a couple of new, enjoyable questions asking you to prognosticate on the season forward. Here are the outcomes.

First, the desk positions.


Masthead 2022-23 Table Predictions

Club MEAN ST/DEV Highest Lowest Title% high 4% Rel%
Club MEAN ST/DEV Highest Lowest Title% high 4% Rel%
Manchester City 1.1 0.25 1 2 94% 100% 0%
Liverpool 2.1 0.44 1 3 6% 100% 0%
Tottenham 2.9 0.34 2 3 0% 100% 0%
Arsenal 4.6 0.81 4 6 0% 63% 0%
Chelsea 5.3 0.93 4 7 0% 25% 0%
Manchester United 5.4 0.89 4 7 0% 13% 0%
West Ham 7.2 1.22 5 10 0% 0% 0%
Newcastle 8.5 0.89 7 11 0% 0% 0%
Aston Villa 9.3 1.65 7 13 0% 0% 0%
Crystal Palace 9.9 1.34 8 12 0% 0% 0%
Leicester 10.8 1.42 8 13 0% 0% 0%
Brighton 11.9 1.31 10 14 0% 0% 0%
Brentford 13.7 1.01 12 16 0% 0% 0%
Leeds 13.8 2.17 10 18 0% 0% 6%
Everton 15.6 1.26 14 18 0% 0% 13%
Wolverhampton 15.6 1.93 12 18 0% 0% 25%
Southampton 16.8 1.52 13 18 0% 0% 44%
Fulham 17.8 1.47 16 20 0% 0% 50%
Nottingham Forest 18.7 0.95 17 20 0% 0% 81%
Bournemouth 19.3 1.53 15 20 0% 0% 81%

Carty Free Community 2022-23 Table Predictions

TEAM MEAN ST/DEV Highest Lowest Title% high 4% Rel%
TEAM MEAN ST/DEV Highest Lowest Title% high 4% Rel%
Manchester City 1.7 2.0 1 18 71.7% 97.1% 0.1%
Liverpool 2.7 1.8 1 15 8.2% 96.7% 0.0%
Tottenham 2.9 2.6 1 20 16.6% 95.1% 2.1%
Chelsea 4.6 1.4 2 19 0.0% 60.7% 0.2%
Arsenal 5.6 2.8 1 20 2.7% 28.5% 2.8%
Manchester United 6.0 2.0 1 20 0.2% 10.8% 0.3%
West Ham 8.4 3.1 1 20 0.1% 1.0% 4.9%
Newcastle 9.2 2.7 4 19 0.0% 0.2% 1.0%
Aston Villa 9.9 2.8 1 20 0.1% 3.3% 1.0%
Leicester 10.3 2.5 4 20 0.0% 0.2% 0.7%
Crystal Palace 11.5 2.5 2 20 0.0% 0.2% 2.2%
Brighton 11.9 3.1 2 20 0.0% 0.4% 5.6%
Wolves 13.2 3.4 4 20 0.0% 0.1% 13.9%
Brentford 14.4 3.3 2 20 0.0% 1.9% 18.9%
Everton 14.9 2.8 2 20 0.0% 0.2% 19.9%
Leeds 15.2 2.9 2 20 0.0% 0.3% 23.9%
Southampton 15.7 2.6 4 20 0.0% 0.1% 26.7%
Bournemouth 17.1 3.9 1 20 0.3% 2.7% 63.1%
Fulham 17.3 2.5 6 20 0.0% 0.0% 56.4%
Forest 17.5 2.5 2 20 0.0% 0.3% 55.8%

This is a Tottenham Hotspur weblog… and we’re all form of clear-eyed

There’s a number of synchronicity between the Masthead and the Commentariat on this 12 months’s predictions. The solely actual distinction at the high of the desk is who’s ending fourth; the Masthead clearly has a little bit extra religion in Gabriel Jesus than the Commentariat, and rather less religion in Thomas Tuchel.

Once once more Manchester City is tipped to win the league, and this 12 months they acquired a better first place proportion (72%) than they did final season (68%). I believed that was attention-grabbing.

Manchester City

Meanwhile, Liverpool was a transparent No. 2. This is about as straightforward because it will get to interpret this type of information.

Liverpool

Now, as a result of it is a Tottenham Hotspur weblog I anticipate a bunch of readers to have an, let’s name it “optimistic” view of Spurs’ closing touchdown place in the desk. Usually the masthead is a bit more pessimistic on Spurs’ probabilities than the readers, however this 12 months we’re proper in sync, putting Spurs in a strong third place. Of course, those that DIDN’T vote Spurs in third virtually universally voted them in second or first, which gave them a really wholesome imply. Weirdly, the fifth highest votes went to Spurs in 18th, which actually simply makes me chuckle — like, if you are going to troll on a Spurs weblog’s prediction ballot, why not put them twentieth? A weirdly particular ranking.

Tottenham Hotspur

There’s probably not that a lot between Chelsea and Arsenal in fourth and fifth place statistically, actually. It’s a detailed factor. But it is a Tottenham Hotspur weblog, and so Arsenal play Thursday ‘coz they’re f—king sh—te.

Chelsea

Arsenal

For the 2nd 12 months working y’all picked all three promoted groups to drop

And you already know what? This 12 months you is perhaps proper. Here are your three relegated groups.

18. Fulham

19. Bournemouth

20. Nottingham Forest

What’s attention-grabbing about that is that Bournemouth really acquired a better proportion of twentieth place votes than both Fulham or Forest, however acquired sufficient greater positioned votes to tick them up simply barely into nineteenth. Isn’t statistics enjoyable?

A variety of y’all are actually low on Leeds this season, however I by some means assume they’re going to outperform what they did final season. But actually, based on the Commentariat there’s not so much to select from between Leeds, Southampton, and Everton. Any one (or extra) of them may slip behind considered one of the promoted groups this season.


Q2: Which group INSIDE the high 6 is probably to complete OUTSIDE the high 6?

No actual surprises right here, as it is a Tottenham weblog. Manchester United’s chaos power offseason appears to outweigh any promise from the appointment of Erik ten Hag, a minimum of based on our readers. More than half of the respondents selected Manchester United as the probably group to drop out of the high six. That does not imply that they WILL, but when one is dropping out, they’re the probably.

Arsenal got here in as the second highest alternative by random web Spurs followers, as a result of it is a Tottenham Hotspur weblog.

Q3: Which group OUTSIDE the high 6 is probably to complete IN the high 6?

I eradicated a bunch of the decisions for the functions of this graph and it is nonetheless a little bit crowded. But in case you are having bother distinguishing the colours, the greatest slice of the pie right here is West Ham, practically half of whom our readers picked to edge right into a European qualification spot this season. Next is, predictably, Newcastle — that oil cash goes a good distance in some readers’ minds.

After that, by a good distance, comes Aston Villa. The biggish purple wedge, btw, is Leicester City, NOT Everton, lol.

This autumn: Who will win the 2022-23 Golden Boot?

This is a Tottenham Hotspur weblog. Honestly, I’m a bit stunned that Kane acquired so MUCH of the vote share right here over Son, who had an exceptional, precise Golden-Boot profitable season final 12 months. Unsurprisingly, Erling Haaland will get the second highest vote share; despite the fact that he is unproven in the Premier League, he is fairly clearly a monster expertise enjoying on a monstrously good group.

Honestly (and sadly), I really feel like the respondents are underrating Gabriel Jesus, who I believe may have way more of an affect on this season than any Spurs followers need to admit.

That itty bitty little orange wedge? Hi Cristiano.

Incidentally, this one had an possibility for an “different” discipline, and out of the 900+ respondents, solely 5 entered one thing in that field. Here are these responses, verbatim.

  • Dejan Kulusevski
  • Brendan Aaronson
  • Lloris
  • Chelsea
  • Your mum (Cartilage)

Y’all are the greatest.

Q5: Who can be the first Premier League supervisor to get sacked?

This one is enjoyable and likewise a bit throughout the place, however even there was a transparent winner: Frank Lampard, come on down (to get fired)! Everton present each indication of being as massive of a sizzling mess this season as they have been final season, and practically 40% of you assume Fat Frank is the first to get the heave-ho this season.

Beyond that, it is squishy. Ralph Hassenhuttl is second with 14% of the vote, which may make sense if Soton will get off to a gradual begin and struggles as predicted. Jesse Marsch is third, which feels extra like a mirrored image on how Leeds completed final 12 months; I actually assume March can be advantageous.

Fourth is Mikel Arteta (it is a Tottenham Hotspur weblog), and a stunning fifth is Thomas Tuchel — I actually anticipated him to be greater. Bacon Sandwich will get a whopping 1.38%.


So that is it. That’s our — and your — predictions for 2022-23. Honestly, I’ve a sense we’re all going to be hilariously fallacious in a number of methods on this one, simply due to the general weirdness of the season. The World Cup goes to trigger havoc — gamers will come again exhausted, injured, and out of form. This may gain advantage Premier League groups which have fewer worldwide gamers, or gamers that did not play many minutes in the event.

But that is a part of the enjoyable! We’ll look again at this text when the season is over and see what we acquired proper, and what we acquired fallacious.

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